Friday, December 3, 2010

2:22 AM daze

I sit here in my unremarkable wooden chair, handed down to me from the subletter, listening to a song called 春待ち ("harumachi"), aka "Waiting for Spring" or "The Wait for Spring" or "En attendant le printemps," whatever you wanna call it... I'm waiting for the partying downstairs to stop. In fact, it probably has, at least momentarily. The obnoxious guys downstairs just don't respect the schedules of anyone around them. It's a Thursday night, and apparently nobody here studies on Thursday nights. Well, it's early Friday now. You get what I'm saying.

Early Friday is typically when I'm doing the most work. I'm rushing to beat the deadlines I have for my three problem sets that I've always got to complete. I'm sick of doing these problems, the majority of which I needed other people's help for or I just need to decode what the TA said in class. This is grad school - the main battle is not to let the work stress me out, so that I can complete it, and I'm losing that battle.

It's not undergraduate, it's graduate. For me this means I need to find a research area, get deep in it, start networking, keep my grades B+ and up, keep my mind open as to whether this whole math thing is a good idea, prevent the aforementioned thought from dominating my worries, buy and cook food on my own, do laundry when I need to, get oil changes on my own, get all help I need on my own, keep an exercise routine, attend seminars, keep my love life alive, satisfy the inner musician, and keep exactly the right percentage and kind of socializing in my life. This isn't easy. Iowa is a hard place to do it, too, though anywhere would have been hard, really.

Some things about the university - the buildings I do my work in are nowhere near modern enough. They're old architecture, yes, but I don't think it gives anyone fuzzy feelings. Maybe the dustbunnies running around in our office which gets cleaned once every month (that's not a misprint) are fuzzy. Ugh, they've started playing music downstairs again. The softness of ABBA running through my ears can't mask that. Wow, and it's louder than before. These guys are so stupid. I'd wish they'd fail out, but I don't wish harm on people like that. Actually, it might do them some good.

Back to the architecture and the dusty office - the environment is not encouraging. At least my fellow graduate students are. Wish they complained about the office at that meeting I didn't attend, though... well, that's my fault for not attending. Ugh, the bass downstairs is scary. It literally woke me from my sleep at 8:00 in the morning on a Saturday. My dreams transitioned into a nightmare and that obnoxious metal music is why. Who does that?

I was seriously thinking of going back to the office, at 2:30 AM. I should've stayed there.

3 problem sets left to complete. When will this end?

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